A strange
topic to discuss you may say. No I think it
is a very important to discuss preparing to
date. If you are going to involve yourself
in other people's lives by asking them to
dinner and wanting to get to know them then
the least you can do is make sure you are
ready to this. I have encountered people who
a little while into a relationship suddenly
announce that they are not ready, or that it
is all too soon, or they were unprepared.
Maybe you have heard that too.
It is easy to
dismiss such instances as people on the
rebound, or making excuses but the fact is,
about 33% of all people on the dating scene
are not really prepared for dating and are
free styling it. Some people may be on the
rebound from a previous relationship, they
may be looking for an escape route, or most
likely they are panicking because of the new
set of emotions they are facing, often
unexpectedly.
Being
prepared to date means making sure that
mentally you are ready to meet new people
and accept into the bargain that you may get
on well and even fall in love. Prepare to be
scared, prepare to be frightened, prepare to
open yourself up to emotions and prepare to
fall in love guys. Because if you don't ,
you are wasting your time and worse, the
time of other people.
You do not
have the preordained right to play with the
emotions of people, and you don't have the
right to hurt their feelings. When someone
accepts a date or asks you on a date, it is
because they like you and want to get to
know you better. If you are not able to open
yourself up to this level of interest then
you are not ready to get involved an begin
dating properly. I reckon that at least a
third of all dates are mistakes. They are
time spent with people who simply don't want
to open up and love or be loved which is why
you must choose your dates carefully.
Please make
sure that when preparing to date, you are
really and truly over a past relationship.
Dating people just to feel better about
yourself will only hurt others and make you
feel worse. Getting over a previous
relationship can take some time and though
very different, has many of the same
attributes as bereavement. Be careful not to
begin dating again too soon in the hope that
it will pick you up. Whilst a new love can
get you over your ex, you must already be
some way down the line from the ex before
you can let go of the past. The danger here
is that you can begin comparing at every
turn and ultimately panic when the new
relationship goes too far too soon. Take
your time and be ready first.
The danger
with trying to date too soon after a
previous relationship has ended is that
dating should be great fun. To be on top
form and be in great humor you need to be
feeling very positive. This is truly
essential to date successfully. Consequently
when not over a previously partner, the
hammer makes you feel guilty and you
immediately find your mind wandering to
times gone past. In turn this comes across
in dates very quickly and it will be obvious
to your new date that all is not well. No
one dating wants to date people with
emotional baggage so it is essential that
you move on as soon as you feel able.
Take some
time before beginning dating people to work
out things about yourself. What are your
strong point and what are your weaknesses.
What do you think people will pick up about
you that you could maybe improve. What do
you like talking about, how are you when
chatting on dates, how organized are you,
how do you come across to others and so on.
Preparation means making sure you come
across well to people. This is particularly
important if you have been out of the dating
game for some time. It is crucial that you
do everything you can to feel confident and
good about yourself and even more important
to be ready to handle some rejection. You
are going to have to reject and be rejected
before you reach the promised land.
-
Make sure
you are over your last relationship
-
Make sure
you want to have a relationship
-
Make sure
you are prepared to be honest about your
aims
-
Make sure
that you are emotionally ready
-
Make sure
that you are able to tell the truth
-
Make sure
you are able to handle some rejection
-
Make sure
your perspective is right
-
Make sure
you are being serious
-
Make sure
you know what your dating aims are
-
Make sure
your confidence levels are reasonably high
-
Make sure
you are looking your best
-
Make sure
you are of positive mind
-
Make sure
you are prepared to wait to meet the right
person
-
Try not to
compare new dates to your ex
-
Be prepared
to take a fresh approach to dating
-
Remember
that on all occasions dating should be fun
Remember that
when getting into the dating scene you need
to be strong and have your wits about you.
You need to be on form and in positive mood.
You need to be ready to have fun and be
entertaining and able to give of yourself.
To do this you need to be emotionally
prepared so do what you can for yourself
before walking out onto the dating field. Be
prepared to date.